Another Primer On Trans Rights…
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“Welcome to the Wonderful World of Trans!”
I wasn’t going to start by writing about trans rights. Not because I was afraid about jumping into the melee, because goodness knows I’ve done that often enough, but because I felt surely enough had been said by now. Surely?
Ha.
Let me start by saying that of course personal experiences of gender will vary, just as those of any journey will, be it one of sexuality, race, religion, class or any other experience peculiar to an individual. You may feel your story isn’t here, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t important, and valid, worth sharing and being heard. Feel free to share it, too. I’m listening.
I am only covering the absolute, very general ABCs and basics here, so please forgive me if I only paint in primary colours and bold shapes, not the nuances, fractals, shimmers and sparkles I know are out there.
So, best beloved. Let me tell you a story. And I’ll try to keep it simple, and to only use short words for those at the back.
Welcome to the Wonderful World of Trans!
It’s not scary at all, whatever the wicked gender critical witches may have told you, and we don’t really have any rules.
Just try to be a good ally, if you can.
Being an ally isn’t that hard. Just have a bit of compassion and tread gently. Many transgender people are tired of not being heard, of being abused and disbelieved, and having their lives, friends and families endangered by ignorance and prejudice.
Stop, listen and ask, but do not expect the person you are with to necessarily be the one who is required to explain themselves and their transness to you. Stop, listen and be led by what they tell you. Be respectful, and hear what they say.
Stop, and consider what you are saying and why. Is it helpful? Is it kind? If not, then you seriously could well be better saying nothing at all.
So, let us begin, in the best place…
Many transgender people knew who they were when they were very young. Not when they were teenagers, and they were ‘confused by their hormones’. When they were under the age of ten.
Not everyone. But more than you imagine.
Of course, back then they didn’t have the language or understanding to express themselves, or name what they were going through. Some cis parents of trans kids may have noticed, but put this down to their child being a bit different, and not thought too much about it. Others would have been worried by it, or even angered.
Some might have been frightened, but they expressed their fear as anger too.
Some kids didn’t even realise what it was that they themselves knew at the time; they didn’t know what that precious little nugget of knowledge was, until they had their light bulb moment, much later, and found something that finally let them know who they really were. And then they dug that nugget out again, and saw it at last for what it was, that secret treasure they’d kept but not recognised for all that time.
Some people are still carrying little sparks of mystery deep within them. Not quite ready to let them glisten and shine yet. That’s why I realised there’s always room for Another Primer On Trans Rights.
So. All this early confusion can lead to anxiety and behavioural issues, which we now know can be avoided by allowing children to be who they want to be, without fear or condemnation, and whilst affirming and supporting their choices. Even if it should occasionally turn out to be just a phase, and they grow out of it, there’s no harm done by letting a child express themselves fully. Children are smart enough to know who they are, and are very accepting of each other’s differences too. Any ignorance or hatred children exhibit they have been taught. Let them have an open and encouraging environment and they all flourish, whoever they are.
“Whilst any statistics that apply to this group may seem shocking, they are at considerable risk, and to deliberately undermine their support network is utterly reprehensible”
Trans children reaching puberty hit a new stumbling block, of course. Transgender adults often speak of the sheer horror of their body betraying them and developing breasts or body hair; all the signals of the opposing gender to the one they knew they were. Many suffer deep periods of depression and self-hatred, as this unstoppable force overwhelms them.
Trans teens need – and deserve – support, love and care, and are one of the most vulnerable groups of people in society today. Whilst any statistics that apply to this group may seem too shocking to be true, they are at considerable risk. To deliberately undermine their support network is utterly reprehensible, and without any place amongst people of any moral character.
Puberty blockers only delay puberty and are reversible. They give trans teens time to consider what they want at a very complex time in their lives, when they may already need to make decisions about a whole range of other life choices. It may even be the first step on a path that avoids major surgery, if that turns out to be their decision.
The arguments against puberty blockers frequently come from people who also say that they don’t want trans teens having surgery. Or as they often put it – mutilation. But they don’t want them using non-invasive things like chest binders, either.
So, you have to ask yourself – what do they think trans teens need?
Quite often, it turns out; praying. We all know how useful thoughts and prayers are. And they want them to suffer natal puberty in a gender where they know they don’t belong, maybe with a side order of denial. Sweet Baby Jebus bless the Christian Right. Because it’s not enough that they hate themselves, but they have to share that hate with everyone else too. Amen, and Dunning-Krugers all round.
But surely, once we’ve got past saving the kiddies, no one really minds what the grown ups do in their own time, these days?
Once you’re over 18, at least in this country, you can be whoever you want to be, and define that person however you choose, (if it doesn’t hurt anyone else) after all?
Guess again, sweet cheeks!
Last year, here in the UK, there was a public consultation about Self ID and the Gender Recognition Act. Back then, for a trans person to officially change their gender, they had to live for at least two years ‘as their chosen gender’, get a diagnosis (that they had a mental illness) from a doctor which they often had to pay for, obtain a separate medical report, again which they may have to pay for, get the permission of their spouse if they’re married, obtain a legally prepared statement of intent, again at possible cost, pay an entirely separate fee of £140, and all of this then had to be sent off to be presented to a board of strangers – who they never get to meet in person – which then gets to make the final decision about their gender. Phew.
Some people might think this process was prohibitively expensive, protracted, out-dated, impersonal, overly-bureaucratic, draconian, and cruel – and possibly in need of review.
So reviewed it was.
“The UK Government even felt the need to issue a press release because there was so much false information in the mainstream media”
And oh dear, did that set the penis amongst the pantyhose. Mumsnet practically caught fire, my lambs. What if we got rid of the current Gender Recognition process, and changed to Self ID, as used perfectly well and without problems in several other countries for some time? Imagine if we did. It would be the END OF DAYS…!
Time for Transphobia 101 to hit the headlines, and lodge itself there pretty much ever since.
The same issues come up again and again online, almost as if there’s a playbook that people are working from when they see you support trans folks. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way to answer those points when they come up just as simply? Well, sweetie! I’ve got your back. Here’s my handy guide to shutting up the asshats, for those days when you want to zing before you block!
I’ll put the issues, misapprehensions and outright lies you might be confronted by online in bold, and stomp on each of them politely in turn.
Self ID would mean any man can access any protected female space, simply by declaring himself female at the door:
Most single sex spaces would remain the same after Self ID, and protected spaces would remain unchanged. Hence ‘protected’. The UK Government even felt the need to issue a press release because there was so much false information in the mainstream media about this. That’s where we got to in the consultation about the GRA.
Self ID is a legal process requiring changes to official ID, very like changing one’s name. It is a permanent change of gender, necessitating telling employers, the DVLA, your bank, HMRC… It’s not and never has been something anyone can do on a whim and change on a ‘sometimes I’m a man on Fridays’ basis. Because that would be ridiculous.
Violent male abusers will use self ID or disguise themselves as transgender to access women’s shelters, and reach their own abused families:
So, abusive, misogynistic troglodytes will legally (and permanently) change their gender to that of the very thing they hate, will they? En masse? If that were the case, you’d think some guy would have thought of trying to disguise himself as a trans woman to get into a shelter by deceit before now, but it just isn’t happening in the UK.
Right now, trans women have to wait two years at least to get identification that matches their gender, and so aren’t expected to have the right ID when they turn up, lost and alone in the middle of the night, if they are victims of abuse – as unfortunately they can often be. Self ID would change that waiting time. Shelters do open their doors to genuine trans women, because they find themselves victims of abuse and violence far too frequently. Requiring ID would protect everyone using shelters, but is only fair to demand if self ID is available.
Oh, and the shelters where families or partners are located are kept secret. They aren’t just housed in your handy local one. Someone would have to trek round shelter after shelter to find them, with new ID each time because many shelters share records of people who try to access them, precisely to STOP this shit happening.
Shelters have processes in place to protect the families and partners of lesbian couples who seek refuge with them. Which is to say, knocking on the door as a woman is not a short cut to getting in and finding your significant other.
Shelters and refuges are in the majority accepting of trans women and have been accepting them for years. This is the case in plenty of other countries too. It is a small minority who see any issue at all, thankfully for all the many victims of abuse and violence who are helped every day, and would have no where else to turn.
Trans perverts with penises get to go to women’s prisons and rape women:
Honey, no. Sex offenders are never housed with their victims, no matter what their gender. This goes for women who sexually assault women and men who rape men, too. The occasion when this has happened has been due to failings in the prison system, not to ‘conceding to requests by rapists who have decided they are trans so they get to be placed with women’. It makes NO sense to do otherwise.
A trans person did a bad thing, or committed a crime! See! Trans people are bad! We told you they were!
Oh my. Do I have bad news for you about straight white guys…
Trans is just a fad. It’s a thing that Western culture invented in the last 40 years, and will blow over some time soon, just like any other crazy fashion. Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria is caused by the internet. These kids don’t know what they’re on about.
There is barely a culture in the world that trans people don’t have a role in, and they have done for thousands of years. Western culture is probably at the bottom of the class when it comes to trans culture. We’ve a lot to learn. Trans people have always been here, and they are not going anywhere. Just because you’ve been ignorant of something previously doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. Time to start learning, and today’s first lesson is acceptance.
Trans women are just transvestites who are turned on by wearing women’s clothes, underwear and makeup:
You’re just pretending! None of this is real! Try harder and pull yourself together!
Oh, give me strength…
Explain butch trans women, then. There are plenty of them. Lesbian trans women too. There are also plenty of camp trans men and gay trans men. It’s almost as if trans men and women come in different varieties, just like cis men and women. Never mind all our fabulous non binary sibs…
Wouldn’t you know, it’s trans women that get most of the hate, though. That’s because it’s a hate that’s based in our old friend misogyny, and misogyny runs through our culture like a festering cancerous seam. Trans men don’t get so much because they ‘actually are women’, so obviously they can’t be a real threat.
And it’s true, trans women are bearing the brunt of mainstream transphobia. Articles online and in print constantly focus on trans women: the threats they pose and the very ‘real danger’ they are to society. I don’t know how many trans women the people writing this bullshit have met, but I’ve met several. I’m even related to some. The biggest threat they are is to my biscuit supply.
“Will no one think of the poor lesbians! “
Even worse, it’s trans women that are manufacturing the trans men out of our dwindling stocks of lesbians; The ‘Get the L Out’ leaflets handed out when they gatecrashed London Pride told us so.
The misinformation in them makes no sense on several levels, but these are the kind of wild accusations that the trans community are facing every day.
Trans women are supposedly forcing lesbians to have sex with them, so why are they turning the lesbians into men, too? Doesn’t that defeat the object? Is that before, during or after the sex?
If trans women are still secretly men, does that mean they’re gay men? Being trans generally doesn’t change the gender you’re attracted to. Who will they have sex with then? Is this a new form of lesbian bed death by stealth?
Anyway, according to our Educational Leaflets: They’re making the lesbians into men – which is where trans men come from, boys and girls! – because all lesbians have short hair, are pretty damn butch and practical, and hate pink. This is what they think is called ‘Lesbian Erasure’. Will no one think of the poor lesbians! All of them are being firmly told by the <1% of the population that are trans who they can date or have sex with – which must keep trans people busy.
And they’re so easily persuaded, are lesbians…
Can you feel my devastating side-eye? Can you?
Now, you see, what I call lesbian erasure is completely denying that femme lesbians exist or have any part in lesbian culture.
And what I call lesbian erasure is talking about ‘GBT’ instead of LGBTQ, and trying to divide our queer culture, undoing years of being stronger together, trying to dig up old divisions and petty squabbles.
Political lesbianism, or deciding you’re a lesbian for purely political motivations, or simply because you hate men – is as empty as gender critical feminism, and needs to get back in the bin where we left it in the 70s.
Women with penises will be using ladies public toilets, and presenting a danger to women:
I’m not sure how to tell you this, but they’ve been legally doing this for years, and nothing has happened. Women go to the toilet in lockable stalls, and you’re going to have to be some sort of very persistent pervert to find out the exact genitalia of any other user, as if it was any of your goddamn business.
For Satan’s sake, transphobes, get over your obsession with penises, and just let people pee in peace. The only people getting stopped in ladies loos are gender non-conforming cis women, and they really don’t like it. I’m quite butch and of an age where chin hair is a thing, and if you look twice at me on the few occasions I do go out, in all my faded glory, if you stop me and question my gender, I will show you what’s in my pants, and you’ll be sorry. Because, having had three children, it’s not exactly the delicate blossom it once was.
Gender Dysphoria needs treating with drugs or therapy; it’s an illness, or a delusion. You’re probably just autistic anyway.
And you’re qualified to diagnose people at a distance exactly, how? There are a high proportion of autistic people in the transgender community, but there are also a lot of trans people in the autistic community and the correlation/causation link is not looking obvious from either side.
‘Gender Dysphoria’ is simply the condition of being uncomfortable with or distressed by your gender. It’s not the same as being trans, and you can be trans without having Gender Dysphoria, (GD) just as you can have GD and not be trans. Being trans (listed as Gender Identity Disorder) was removed from the DSM5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), in 2013 and replaced with GD – much in the same way that homosexuality was removed from the DSM2 and replaced with Sexual Orientation Disturbance in the DSM3. SOD was then replaced by Ego Dystonic Homosexuality, which lasted until the DSM3-R revision in 1987.
Quite sensibly, clinicians had realised that Identity Disorders were not necessarily specific to or even part of people’s wider identities. Being trans, like being gay, was not any sort of disorder that needed treatment. It was, in fact, completely ‘normal’ – in as much as anything ever is.
Being trans is not an illness, or a delusion. It doesn’t go away. There have been so many people, over the centuries of human existence who have wished and hoped and prayed that it would. But it’s just how some people are made. They are in the right body, as we all are. Sometimes we may want to change our outer appearance to better match our inner selves. We all are free to do that, and not have ignorant people decide if we should be allowed to do as we will with our own bodies. Criticising other people’s appearance isn’t a good look for anyone.
At some point, being I hope better informed and perhaps having now confidently entered a ‘debate’ with a transphobe, you’ll see this:
“What is a woman? Define ‘woman’!”
They love that. They can’t answer it themselves though. That’s because there isn’t a simple answer. I’d say ‘Any adult human female, including trans women, of course.’ That’s not usually enough of an answer, mind you, but this is always a debating dead end. Questions of definition of form date back to everyone’s friend Plato, and are impossible to answer conclusively. Try countering with “define a chair” for a lively twitter discussion.
The final point in the reductio ad absurdism that is arguing against trans rights is – If you can change your gender, then surely I can change my race!
Well, no. Because that is both ignorant and racist. Gender Identity is something each individual is born with and is unique and personal to them. They discover and explore it as they grow, and as they find their place in society.
Are you a man? Yes? Ok. Would you still be a man if I put you in a dress? A pretty, floral dress, with tiers and flounces, not just a manly leather kilt. What about if you were in a dreadful accident and chopped your testicles off? Still a man? Now, what if we sever your penis, too…?
Are you a woman? Yes? Ok. What about when you reach menopause? Are you still a woman then? Or if you have breast cancer and you have a double mastectomy? A full hysterectomy? Short hair? Is your womanliness still there?
Of course it is. Because it’s not tied to one organ, or hidden in your biology. It’s within your sense of self and who you are.
Your race is your inheritance. It’s not just who you are, it’s who your ancestors were. It’s where you came from. It’s something you learn about. It’s your history, your heritage and your culture. It’s a gift that’s given to you by your family – even when you may never have met them – and whilst perhaps you can choose to not connect with it, or you may even discover it fully later in life, it is immutable. And it’s your gift to pass on, so you better treat it with some damn respect. It’s part of how society views you, part of your community and part of your privilege – or lack of it. Oh, and it’s definitely not being white. Black is a race because for far too many black people, their cultural history was stolen and replaced with one of bondage, displacement and exile. Their families, countries, religion, language and culture were replaced by becoming objects to be traded, owned and used. To create a culture from that is something profoundly powerful, and it’s important to remember that this happened because we do see and are aware of race, and judge people because of it, to both greater and larger degrees. ‘White’ is not a race. Lots of people from a variety of ethnicities and cultures are fair skinned. White is a marker of privilege, and it means that you need to listen to what others are telling you about how race and racism affect their lives, and be proactive about being part of positive change.
Well, they may finally say – if you’re lucky and they’ve still not shut up – I identify as an attack helicopter, then!:
Lol. Aren’t you the funny one?
Still. Everyone has the right to self-identify, honey. You go live your best life. So long as you’re not hurting anyone, no one actually cares. No one give a shit, sugar.
There is no limited supply of rights. There’s plenty to go around. Just because we let someone else – at goddamned last – have some rights, no one has to take away any of yours. If you’ve got no icing to add to this cake, just shut the fuck up and sit down. We’ve got our lives to get on with, here!
So: in conclusion, trans rights are human rights. Trans women are women, trans men are men, non binary people are just grand, and we can all do just fine if we let each other get on with our lives, and respect each other as other human beings. People have the right to choose how they self-identify, and no one has the right to label anyone else, or gatekeep any of those labels either. All our teams are intersectional, and stronger for it, theydies and gentlethem!
And we all lived happily ever after.
The End.
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