Life Lessons I Learned From My Dogs
Or, suggestions for when you’re struggling in the shallows from two whippets with hidden depths
I’m sure anyone who knows whippets will probably be of much the same opinion. They’re special dogs, and once they’ve had a good run around, they don’t need much beyond a nice lie down somewhere soft and comfy, and if you could fetch them a duvet, please, that would be super, because they do feel the chill in the evenings. Maybe a jumper too. But don’t forget that now the weather’s getting warmer they can’t go out without sunblock on if the sun’s too hot, because their fur is very thin, and they can catch the sun ever so easily…
However, whilst they would seem to be dogs that are inherently unsuited to survive for long at any temperature that isn’t consistently ‘pleasantly mild’ and doesn’t come with a sofa en suite, and someone to fetch their lunch, they are actually exactly the type of dog even the ancient Egyptians would recognise. A form that’s remained pretty much unchanged for millennia, it’s so well crafted. You can see dogs like whippets and greyhounds in tapestries and paintings going back throughout history and in many cultures across the globe.
Long dogs are sleek and efficient hunters, and their size varies only according to their prey; from rats and rabbits to the huge wolves of the Russian steppes. They’re amongst the fastest land animal there are, barring cheetahs and horses, and greyhounds give race horses a real run for their money, hitting speeds of up to 45mph. Some would even argue they are actually the fastest, as sighthounds can sustain their top speed for much longer distances, due to their unique build and physical features. Their heart, blood and physique have all developed to maximise their endurance at high speed.
So, they’ve been getting something right, and doing it for a very long time, evolutionarily speaking, when they’re not quietly farting under our duvets.
I suppose, getting to lead a life of complete leisure apart from the odd sprint round the park, with plentiful food, soft blankets, and, of course a place by the fire, is probably the pinnacle of evolution, when you think about it.
But then, this is pretty much exactly what they have been doing, all along, no evolving required. Sometimes nature gets it right, first time.
Whippets took a special route, and were once known as the poor man’s hunting dog. Greyhounds were the dogs of the nobility, and at one time it was forbidden for common people to own them or to hunt with them in the forests. When a greyhound pup was a runt or otherwise badly formed, they would be returned to their breeders – with a tendon cut or two toes removed so they could never be used for hunting. The breeders would keep these smaller dogs and bred from them their own dogs that they hunted with (poached) in the fields and on the common lands, and then in the forests once the forest law was repealed.
The fact that they started out from dogs who were hobbled has been surmised as to why whippets are such home and family loving dogs. Living in poorer homes and being short haired dogs with no doggy smell meant they were used as winter bed warmers when not in front of the fire, and their place as family dogs (and in beds) was cemented in the very origins of their breed.
They may not actually be as daft as they look…
In fact, we’ve got a lot we can learn from them, and their philosophy on life. Why not try looking at things from a whippety angle, for a change?
Lesson 1
Be there for your friends
Just be there when people need you, if you can. You don’t have to do anything else. People generally don’t expect you to fix all their problems, or need you to have all the answers. Just be with them, so they know they aren’t alone.
Listen to them, hear them. That’s all most people want. Hold them. Let them hold on to you. Be a safe place.
Lesson 2
Wear what makes you feel good
Fuck fashion. Be bold – or subtle; be who you really are. Make your own statements. Go with what feels like you. Whatever makes you comfortable, be it ‘age appropriate’ or not. You’ll know it when you see it, and if it makes you happy, then wear it, and wear it every day, if you like. Get it in six colours, and be the weird lady who shops in dayglo dungarees. You’re smiling already, aren’t you?
It doesn’t have to be entire outfits, or at least, not at first. Maybe just an accessory or two, to start with. A scarf. Or a belt. Some earrings. Then that huge hippy skirt and army boots.
Look out for people whose style you like. Keep your eyes open for things you could see yourself wearing. Then get rid of the things that don’t make you happy.
Life is too short to do things just to please other people. Find out what pleases you. Find your happy. Be comfy. Feel nice, every day, even if it’s only in a little way.
Lesson 3
Spend some time outside, when you can
Nature is wonderful. Look at all that world out there, full of smells to sniff, sights to see, and grass to roll in. There are so many places just waiting to be explored.
It’s good for the soul, being out in the sunshine, and all that Vitamin D is essential for good physical and mental health too. But leaving the house, never mind accessing somewhere green and pleasant, isn’t possible for everyone. Sitting by an open window and watching the world can be a start, though.
I used to sit on my front doorstep, when I was stuck in a terrace with three small children and I had a bit of time to myself. Sometimes we could pack ourselves up and walk to the local park, for what it was worth (which wasn’t much, admittedly, for the effort involved) or even get the train and go a bit further afield when we could. We would organise and go along with a friend or my sister and her kids, so there’d be two adults, and that way it’d be less hellish to wrangle. It wasn’t something we did a lot, but it was possible occasionally. Sometimes it was even fun.
I hope you can find somewhere you can go, and feel some air on your face for a little while, and forget about everything else. Even if it’s only your front doorstep, or the view from a window. The world will wait for you, if you can’t be there right now, tho.
Lesson 4
Stand up for what you believe in
All it takes is for a good person to stay silent, to let hate win. If you can, then speak up. There will be opportunities, fuck knows. Don’t walk on by, if it’s safe for you to say something, and particularly if it’s in defence of someone else. There are several helpful guides on what to do if you see racist abuse happen and you’re unsure if it’s safe to intervene. Never put yourself in danger, though. Call for back up before you go in, tho – like you’d be yelling at the tv screen for the deputy who’s a day away from retiring to do. We all know how that works out… Let’s stay safe out there, kids.
Lesson 5
Share what you have
Sometimes, even when you only have very little, it can feel like more if you share it with someone else. Few things bring more joy than being able to give another person something that they really appreciate. Spreading happiness is the best feeling.
People often talk about how hard it is to teach children to share nicely, and how selfish we naturally are, but if you watch a baby learning to feed themselves or starting to play in a group, they will often automatically offer what they have to whoever is nearby. Yes, they want to share, not give things away entirely, and are still learning object permanence too, so it can be a fraught process, but it is an instinctive impulse. I suspect the people who struggle most to teach sharing might struggle with the concept themselves. Children learn best from their environment, and the behaviours they see everyday. Those are the lessons that last longest, because they keep being reinforced.
Of course, it’s also important to teach children autonomy too, and that they are allowed to politely say no if they choose to, when it comes to their own belongings. Sharing is great. But if you want to play on your own today, that’s always ok too. Sharing should be either happily and freely offered, or not at all.
Not everything is meant to be shared, too, and this is a massively important lesson when it extends to bodily autonomy. You don’t have to hug, kiss or even touch anyone if you don’t want to. But it makes it all the more precious when you do – and we will just keep telling grandma that until she gets it.
And whilst we’re learning from dogs, this is a good place for a lesson about dogs. Never pet a dog – especially one you don’t know – unless you know the dog is happy to be fussed. Always ask the owner’s permission, and approach the dog from the front where they can see you, and sniff you first. Offer them your closed fist, and let them come to you. And never try to take food from a dog unless you know it is safe to do so. A little basic dog knowledge is useful for everyone to have, after all.
We are a social species, like dogs, and that means it is natural to us to want to cooperate, and it’s vital that we all get along. It helps our tribe grow stronger if we work together and look out for each other. Dogs fit perfectly into our tribes, just as we fit into their packs, and we have adapted to suit each other over thousands of years, becoming integral parts of each other’s societies. There may well be many species of dogs that would struggle to survive in the wilds today, but that’s only because we have so adapted them to live symbiotically with us. We would struggle just as well without dogs, in so many ways.
Sharing, helping someone, small kindnesses give us tiny bits of pleasure that encourage us to do more of the same. Our brains reward us with little endorphin rushes if we do things that will help us to survive better as a society, like helping a stranger or reaching out to a friend, or even spending time with a dog. Try it and see.
Lesson 6
Remember, you’re a beautiful princess
Anyone can be a beautiful princess, whatever gender they are, just like Arthur.
Or a prince.
Or the republican, non-gender conforming equivalent of your choice.
Beauty doesn’t mean subscribing to media reinforced current beauty ideals, either, particularly with regards to body size, abledness, colour, cultural norms and all the other signifiers that can leave some of us feeling isolated and unsure of ourselves.
Ignore the bullshit, celebrate your uniqueness.
Lesson 7
Get enough sleep
The important thing is that you get the right amount of sleep for you, and not what anyone else tells you you should be getting, whether that is seven hours, or eight or even more. You can use apps to make sure you are getting the optimum amount of sleep, to measure your sleep cycles and REM sleep, and wake you up at the ideal time for you. You can even find out what you’ve been talking about in your sleep each morning.
You may be a person who needs less sleep. Some people do. But don’t confuse needing less sleep with running on adrenaline and being constantly slightly tired. No one actually gives out prizes for this stuff. The people you think are impressed by choices like these are not the people who really matter.
The fact that we even talk about having a work/life balance is bizarre. “Yes, I decided I preferred working to living, so I let my balance shift to that side almost exclusively…” Your life is what matters, and you can’t have any quality of life without quality of sleep.
Problems develop when you are sleeping over ten hours and are still tired when you wake up, if you still feel tired through the day no matter how long you sleep, or if your sleep quality is consistently poor no matter what you do.
Try and make sure you unwind in the evening, and go to bed before you’re too tired. Try to leave work behind you in the workplace, and don’t take it home with you. It’s not like most of us get paid for the things we take home, anyway…
I know, many people have to work long hours, or take on more than one job, or there are so many demands and stresses when you get home that just finding time and space to unwind before bed might be easier said than done. But if you have the choice, make it. If you don’t, then take what time you have and treasure it.
Make sure your bedroom is a place you love, and a place that is peaceful. Make it into a haven where you do nothing but sleep, and don’t allow the outside world in. Do what you can to make it a place you can truly relax and feel safe, and where no one can disturb you. Try and make a project of gathering things to make it as lovely as possible. See if you can get good, light-blocking curtains and a mattress topper, or spend a little extra on one set of good quality bedding. Fill it with things you cherish.
If you’re still having issues with restful sleep, whatever they are, go and see your doctor. Sleep matters, as any dog will tell you.
Lesson 8
Put stress aside
Things will work out, and you will find a solution, because there are always more options than you might realise, and help often comes from unexpected quarters. Never lose hope, and whilst life might not bring you everything you want, it will often bring you what you need.
Some of the best advice in the world is that, if life brings you trouble, ask for help. People love being able to help other people out, if they can. One day, you may be able to help someone out in return. Keep your eyes open for that person. They are your link in a chain of events that go towards making the planet a happier place to live, and society that bit kinder.
But don’t let negative emotions hold you back. Stress, fear, doubt, self-critical thinking; what possible benefit do they have? They just use up your energy and stop you from getting on with stuff. Learn to recognise them when they appear. Learn to name your negative emotional responses, look at them squarely and then step away from them. Turn your back on them. All they are doing is making you feel sad and incapable. You don’t need that.
Nothing can happen unless we throw that first pebble into the pool. Do something good. Send out those ripples. See what comes back.
For instance, Arthur finds that if he stares for long enough, biscuits appear…
Lesson 9
Be ridiculous
Everything else is, after all. Enjoy the ludicrous nature of existence. Revel in it. It is curious, and lovely and astonishing, and it’s beautifully bizarre that we’re even here at all.
Every day there is something new, and even when there is something that goes wrong, or something bad happens, that day always comes to an end, and there you are, still in one piece, laughing in the face of adversity.
Adversity hates that.
There’s always a new moment. Look for the ridiculous in it, and just enjoy that you’re here.
And what’s Lesson 10?
You can teach an old dog new tricks. It’s never too late to do the things you want, to try something new, or to go on new adventures. Every day, the world starts anew, and is full of new chances. You deserve happiness. Go out and find it. If there is any purpose at all to life, it’s to find happiness, and to share it with others. Dogs know this. That’s why they roll in those fetid things and then come home and rub it all over your furniture. Share the joy. Open yourself up to love.
If you’re ever really stuck, think, ‘What would a whippet do?’
