Mardy Bum

More apologies to Alex Turner

Well, now then, mardy bum

I’ve seen your frown and it’s like looking at

An old man’s sweaty plums,

Then you goes off.

And out come all these words

Oh, there’s a very pleasant side to you

A side no one prefers.

It’s one that laughs and jokes around

Remember yelling in the kitchen, yeah

You smacked her all around?

And it was up, up and away,

Oh, but it’s right hard to remember that

On a day like today,

When you’re all argumentative

And you’ve got the face on.

Well, now then, mardy bum

Oh, you’re in trouble again, aren’t you?

I thought as much

‘Cause you turned over there

Pulling that silent disappointment face

The one that no one can bear.

Well, can’t you just laugh and joke around?

Remember gurning at PMQs, yeah

When answers can’t be found.

And it was up, up and away

Oh, but it’s right hard to remember that

On a day like today

When you’re all argumentative.

And you’ve got the face on.

And, yeah, you’re sorry negotiations are a state

But you went to Europe

And and you must have turned up late

And you can’t be arsed to carry on in this debate

That reoccurs, oh, when you say you don’t care

But, of course we do, yeah, we clearly do

So laugh and joke around?

Remember, guest spots in the quiz shows yeah

To get things off the ground

And it was up, up and away

Oh, but it’s right hard to remember that

On a day like today

When you’re all argumentative

And you’ve got the face on.