Ten Reasons Not To Just Lie On The Floor And Howl
Handy Reminders Not To Give Up When Frankly, Everything Is Fucked
I know. I’ve seen who’s in government. They aren’t going anywhere, and every day there seems to be some new trashfire of injustice to break what little tolerance you had left. Your job sucks, whatever effort you make goes unnoticed, and morality and social justice seem like some vague dream you once had. Everywhere in the world there are wars, destruction and disease, and no one seems able to do anything constructive to help anyone. In fact people seem to be be profiting from bloodshed at every turn.
The seas are choked with plastic, the soil is over-farmed, and species are dying out on every continent, never to be seen again. Still, global warming will kill us all soon anyway, so what the fuck, right? No wonder it’s so hard to get out of bed in the mornings…
I’ve seen so many lists that turn out to be things I should have done before I was thirty, things I enjoy but need to stop doing, things I ought to do but are too damn expensive, or things I simply haven’t the time, energy or will left for.
And none of that is helping. I need a list of things that are no effort and no cost and are going to make me think it’s worth carrying on when I wake up and look bleary-eyed at my newsfeed and go Jesus Christ what the fuck now…
Reasons Not to Wail Endlessly into the Void
- Dogs. Yes I know it’s an easy one, but have you seen dogs? They aren’t giving up, and they need us. Look at them. Look at some more of them. Look at my dogs. They’re just ridiculous. And they love us, no matter how awful we are, no matter how much we fuck up. Some of them don’t even smell of dog, which is one of their few downsides. They’re just very special, and they keep trying their best. There are always dogs.
- Cats being dicks. Don’t really like dogs? You don’t even have to like cats to enjoy cats being dicks. Cats don’t give a shit. We can learn a lot from cats. Apart from maybe how to react to a paper bag. Or how to judge what size box you will fit comfortably into. Or how to react to your own reflection. But there are definitely some lessons about tolerance, love, acceptance, grace and style to be learned. Yep.
- Pride. You’re not going to just let the bastards win, are you? Fuck that shit. You’re better than that. If anyone is going to see this out, you are, just for the sheer bloody-mindedness of it, because why the fuck not? They may have taken your joy, but they’ve not taken your voice, not yet, and you’re going to keep using it, until you’re the one lone voice left. Yes you are. Because every single voice counts. We’re all the heroes of our own story, we just have to remember to keep telling it, because every story matters. And you never know whose life you may change, if you keep letting people hear it.
- Revenge. You still have a vote and you’re going to get to use it, and one day very soon, as well. People’s eyes have been opened. I know. We’ve been here before. But there’s change coming. There are a lot of empowered, smart young people who are ready to vote for the first time, and I think they are ready to vote for change, and they are ready to make their voices heard. Which leads me to…
- Hope. Yeah. I said it. But you know it’s hiding down there, in a dark corner of your soul, just like it did in Pandora’s Box. It’s not a dirty word. You’re allowed to have it, because it does just keep coming back, no matter what you do to it. You can have hope, even if things keep going wrong, even if shit just keeps on happening and things keep on fucking up. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed any more hope. There’s not a limited supply. Wake up with hope. If stuff has been shit every day up until now, you’re definitely due something good this time, right? Imagine how much karma is waiting for you…
- Love. Someone loves you, I promise. And if right now, you truly feel no one does, then I love you, sweetie, and I can tell you that there is someone out there waiting to love you. The best way to find love is to be open to it, and to be prepared to give it. Remember love isn’t just about the search for romance, and the love we get from our family, and our friends (who are the family we choose) is the love that gets us through the bad times. You are loved and you deserve love. Never doubt it. Be kind to yourself, because you are very precious to someone.
- Sex. Oh yes. Let’s talk about sex, baby. If all else fails, you can always fuck the pain away. There’s nothing like sexual healing. And so long as you’re not too drunk to fuck, you can always get off, because sometimes learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.
- Music. Yeah, you might have noticed I did something of a lyrical segue there, over in sexy point seven. Rock music and sex are of course inextricably linked, but music is about every aspect of our emotional lives. Music can be simple or complex, comforting or disquieting, sacred or profane, ennobling or savage, fragile or grotesque; joyful, tragic or utterly sublime, there is always something that can reach you, whoever you are and whatever you’re feeling. If you don’t think so, maybe you just haven’t heard it yet. Keep listening. Wait til that beat reaches into your soul, til that melody worms into your ear, until you find you gasp at the crescendo, and you’re singing the words even though you never heard them before. That’s your song. Keep singing it. Dance while you do. Play it loud.
- Food (and drink). We’d die without it, after all. But to eat without pleasure, ah… That would just be hell. I can understand the principles of dieting, and of eating less unhealthy foods and more healthy ones, but I need to enjoy the things I eat. I’m happy to have a smaller portion, and even to be eating a mainly vegetarian diet now, but you can’t cook without fat, sugar and salt. Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll just save some cake for tomorrow and put less sugar in my tea. We’re all loosing tastebuds all the time, and there are so many things I haven’t tried yet. There’s no need to go to extremes, or to start making up fairy stories. As a species, we’re designed to be obligate omnivores, and I’d like to make the most of that whilst it’s still morally feasible to do so, thank you. The important thing is to eat as well as you can on the budget you have, and if you need to cut corners or buy a few treats to help you get through the day, then you should do that. You are allowed to be happy in the skin you’re in right now. That’s the secret to living well and healthily, and having a good relationship with food. You can be big, and happy and healthy and you can be skinny and miserable and unfit. You do you, and love who you are. Be who you should be, whoever that is, and let other people be who they need to be, too.
- Mistakes. Do things and don’t worry about whether you’re going to fuck everything up or not. Everyone makes mistakes some of the time. Try stuff, with the knowledge that you might well get it wrong the first few times, but that’s how you learn, right? Your mistakes can be the key to solving problems, the way that you unlock your creativity. Use them, build on them. Let them be catalysts, not closed fists. Ask for help. Find someone who knows, and will enjoy showing you. Don’t worry about admitting you’re not perfect, because guess what, no one is. We’re all just making this shit up as we go along. Your experience and knowledge are as valid and important as everyone else’s, and no one got here knowing everything, doing everything right first time. Speak up, ask questions, be part of things. You belong, and you can do this, if you want to. I believe in you.
Ok. That’s ten! That’s the best I’ve got. Go back to the beginning and start again if it’s not working yet, and if all else fails, I recommend gin, crisps, ice cream and streaming The Good Place, Mrs Maisel and Grace and Frankie in bed, and not coming out again until you feel strong enough. Take a few good books with you. You might be a while.
